Living Free

Living Free - Advice for living free that I have learned from studies, reading, quotes, and from Mentors which have changed my life:

  • Always act with the utmost Integrity - it will eliminate almost all issues in your life and avoid conflicts where they don’t need to exist. If you say you’re going to do something or be somewhere, do it. If you cannot, let the person know, don’t avoid confrontations, face them head on and make sure you are clear and concise in your points and delivery. Always know your why and be sure to explain it to others as well. This will eliminate most of the things you perceive to be ‘problems’ in your life. There are no such things as problems, as you will come to find out.
  • Utilize your ‘unfortunate’ circumstances to propel you forward. You may have what you think are ‘flaws’ but that’s only in your own mind. Learn self-love and propel yourself into accomplishments beyond belief.
  • Never be afraid to ask yourself or other “why”. Children aren’t afraid to ask, ‘what is this, or what is that” so why are we as young adults cast into silence and forced to deal with the status quo. Do not sit silently. As Sheryl Sandburg says, “Sit at the Table”, especially as women in the workforce and in life. If you are not making changes and making waves, then you are not changing the world. If everyone likes you, you are probably not asking the tough questions. Don’t be afraid to stand alone. Don’t be afraid to be weird. Don’t be afraid to ask why, even if the person you are asking is you.
  • Take full responsibility for your own actions as they pertain to your life and face the facts. Do not feel sorry for yourself. As Wayne Dyer tells us and I will repeat this over and over as it is now embedded into my soul: “With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.”
  • Do not think that you are alone. There are experiences that are unique to your life, yes absolutely, but there are others out there that you can share your experiences with who have had similar experiences and come out the other side of those problems, stronger, more intelligence, and with life lessons. Be determined to find those souls who are like you and learn from them. Be a constant student and teacher. Make sure you are always asking questions and seeking answers.
  • Be grateful – There are people out there much worse off than you are. There is poverty, there is starvation, there is war, there is malice and be grateful that you are born into a country where you can live free. Always be grateful for what you have.
  • Leave Materialism behind you: Everyone wants the next best outfit, the next best job, the next best “THING”. It is all ‘stuff’ we accumulate to make others like us. We are not defined by what we do but who we are (America is still getting used to this) but we should not be defined by what we consume or being the by-products of someone else’s wishes. I will sum it up in the following quote from Fight Club, “We buy things we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t like”. Think about that the next time you are buying something. Is it to feed your own soul, then by all means BUY IT, but if it is to feed someone else’s view of your soul, let it go. I took the below picture in San Diego of the graffiti in Hillcrest.

  • Never stop learning. Never let that thirst for knowledge dry up. Continue to learn and grow and that will be your greatest teacher. There are no excuses here, you can’t pay for college? Don’t worry, some of the most successful people didn’t go to college, and there is a free library in your neighborhood which can teach you more than you know. I suggest the next time you leave your house, you stop into your local library and it will open your eyes to how much is at our fingertips that we do not take advantage of. Always have a thirst for reading and a thirst for feeding your biggest muscle – your brain.
  • Think for yourself – most of the time you listen to what someone says, you internalize it, and then you believe it. Don’t believe everything you hear, even if you think it up yourself! Seek truth for yourself. Don’t let others tells you how to act, how to feel, how to live. I realize that once you start to think for yourself and take responsibility for your own thoughts and actions, than there will be no one to blame when things go wrong, but that is the point. Don’t be a “victim” and start blaming others for your own actions when you didn’t choose to seek out the answers for yourself.
  • Get out of your comfort zone. Take calculated risks. Make bold decisions. Create Bold Actions – Be Bold! FACE YOUR FEARS!!!
  • Meditate – I wasn’t into it at first either – but that is because I knew that my deepest fear was not that I was inadequate or unworthy, but my deepest fear was that I was powerful beyond measure. I would realize my potential, I would have to act, I would have to stop being comfortable. Meditations have brought revelations, and since I started to give this area of my life some attention and time (typically 30 minutes in the morning and at night) than I started to let my light shine. I then also subconsciously allowed myself to live free. Let yourself sit in silence, with no one to interrupt your thoughts and get into your mind. Sometimes we have crazy dreams and we want to re-visit their meanings, what better way than to dream while you are awake. Let your mind take you where it needs to go, where your need to resolve something with yourself and think about it differently so it doesn’t persist as a perceived ‘problem’ in your life. We need to let go! Being able to meditate is not easy, it will take hard work and commitment from you. Yoga has helped me but it was truly me, sitting alone with just my mind that made me realize the true impact. This is a gift to yourself, give it to yourself and you will be able to live free and at peace with who you are and why you are on this earth.
  • Balance your Pillars of Life: When you have your body and mind in order – everything will balance into its right place. I would love to help you do this.
  • Know that “this too shall pass”. A good friend once said this to me when I was going through a tough life situation. Know that pain in momentary and that it is happening for a reason. There is always clarity once it passes and you will know why it entered your life at that exact time it was meant to.

  • Keep the right people in your life and get the wrong people out of your life. This may seem harsh but it absolutely needs to happen. We all change and we all grow and maybe we don’t grow together, and that’s okay, but we need to realize who is bringing us down and who is launching us forward. You will realize your true friends as you grow older and older and those will be more quality and not so much quantity and this is okay. Do not let those people in your life that bring you down, it is not worth it. Remember you only have one life to live, live it with the people who you care about and who care about you in return. Those who stay constant in your life will be the ones you know are the right ones. Now I am not saying you run away from someone that challenges you, that person might just be exactly what you need. If you are addicted to something and someone has a confrontation with you about this addiction, that might just be the right person. The right people aren’t always going to have the same point of view, in fact, most times they might disagree with you. Know the right kind of people for your life, you will know in your heart who should be there and who should not. Perception is reality and you are defined by the company you keep. What type of company do you keep? Where do you spend your time and what environments are affecting you? Who in your life challenges you to be better?
  • Contingency Strategies– Always have a plan. Know your options and know your strategies to make things work. This does not mean have a back-up plan for your life, then you will always create excuses, it means be prepared for what might come and plan for the next step not the back-up step. You can develop plans as you go but always know where those plans may take you and always be open to change. Your expectations of how life should be and your 'blue print' might not always match up how you wanted it to, and that's okay! Be okay with changing the course and changing the plan with multiple outcomes that can all equal success. This way you will always have a positive outlook!
  • Ask for Help: You are not always right, you can’t do everything on your own, and you don’t know everything. ASK for help, in fact seek it out. Get a mentor, get multiple mentors, better yourself and be a constant student. 
  • If it’s important to you, don’t accept less than you deserve without a fight. There are times when it won’t be worth winning the battle only to lose the war, but there will be other times when the principle matters.